There were two really important things that went down at Passion 2012, well for me at least.
1. First, my focus on God magnified!! I know that is really easy to say at a place like that and believe me I doubted anything would happen for me there and well truthfully I was just going to go, but it is true!
A couple a month’s ago I went through a really tough time with an ending to a relationship and since then, my focus has been on nothing else. My mind was always elsewhere in church and I just couldn’t concentrate on songs and singing to God or what I was really singing about. I did everything for show, and this became my routine. At passion the first day was still hard but by the end of the trip I realized how much I was really focused. I went through a lot of prayer during the messages and time being there, and I came to realize that my mind was completely on God for the first time in a while. He really had broken me down, in a good way of course! :)
2. The second big thing that happened there was with my family group. At passion you are to match up with 8 people and for the next 4 days you are to grow with them and find out about them and become like a family. I never had done this before, so I was a little scared. Once we got into groups, I gained a hyper-ness, which for me was my confidence. I ended up not being shy at all! I can be very shy at times when speaking or meeting people I don’t know.
One of the nights after hearing a story from one of the members in the group, another friend and I prayed for her together at the hotel we stayed at. I am not saying this to boast about praying. I am telling you guys this so I can show you how great God is! This wasn’t just a Passion stranger group prayer, this was me finally opening up and praying out loud around friends. This was God strengthening me!
By the end of the trip I have told them my story and I got to hear theirs, I had the opportunity for God to tell me to give people certain advice about things, and I got to pray out loud with them. Before this I have only prayed out loud with one person. I normally would be too scared to pray in groups or around friends, but God just put it in me and it wasn’t a burden feeling. I wanted to do it! It was the best feeling for all of us being able to pray together and not being scared or having to make an excuse to stop it.
After this I have been given a few more opportunities to pray; in small groups at church, with friends, at school. It does still get hard to do it, but I have been getting better about it. I have now prayed in smaller groups and feel comfortable. There are still moments when I say no to God. I know it’s bad and I hate it. Today for instance, the bible study group at school asked me to end in prayer and I have never done that before. I knew this was God giving me an opportunity, and I rejected it. It is not a good feeling to have for doing so, but I do know God is working in me and eventually I will get over it because I have a God who overcomes and will give me the strength to do so.
I know this is kind of long, but God definitely worked through me there and I just want to share that with you all. Thanks for reading! :)
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